Sunday, October 01, 2006

The Genius of Infomercials... (kill me now)

Mostly sunny - Hi 106 Lo 78 for Baghdad, Iraq
Mostly sunny - Hi 73 Lo 53 for Northern KY, USA

Song of the week: American Music,
Violent Femmes


I have a confession. It's one I'm not very proud of. [taking deep breath...]

I'm a sucker for infomercials. There... I said it... er uh... wrote it..

Several years ago, I was in a car accident that left me bedridden for 8 weeks. When that happened, I discovered the wonderful world of QVC... I bought Michael a KitchenAid mixer... when I called, QVC put me on air... I was a freakin' celebrity just for being a "first timer"! As for other purchases I made from my medical bed in the family room... that's between me, Visa and Federal Express...Thankfully, I eventually went back to work and never looked back... but the seed was planted........ [deep sigh]

A few years later, I developed insomnia... Now, dear readers, this is the genius of infomercials. Insomnia for me, is a goofy thing. I wake up and flip on the television... since I really don't want to be awake, I don't raid the fridge, definitely no caffeine... just a bit of a stupor... complete faculties are not there... The producers of infomercials depend on this to hock their stuff...

But then... a song... a song I hadn't heard in ages catches my attention. I pause on the channel... wow... another great song... I LOVE that one.... and another one!... and another... OH-MY-GAWD! Awwww... and the hostess is such a cute girl and she likes this older music... OH-MY-GOSH-- Greg Brady is the host of this show! I had forgotten how cool the song by Rupert Holmes was. ...if you like pina coladas and gettin' caught in the rain... YEAH!!
Greg then reminds me, "... and who can forget this classic?" the jungle... the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight...
"Oh yes!", the pretty young hostess belches... "but don't forget this classic by Maureen McGovern..."
...torn between two lovers... feelin' like a fool...
But wait!! OH CRUD!! I only have 30 minutes after the broadcast to get free shipping!! I race for my purse, I dial the 800 number and get a surly operator...
"Yes, I'd like to order the 70's Music Explosion CD's!!"
The surly operator then responds with a monotone, "blah blah blah, blah blah blah. For an additional $9.95 you can receive Love Songs of the 70's, a retail value of $19.95."
", thanks I just want the 37 CD's."
"Very well, Ms. S, let me put you on hold while we process your order."
.:: hold music, with an infomercial for Love Songs of the Frenchy French ::.
"Ma'am, thank you for holding. Your order is being processed. Is there anything else I can help you with? We currently have Love Songs of the Frenchy French on sale for the low price of 4 easy payments of $29.95."

"No thank you."
"Thank you, let me put you on hold while we finalize your order.
.:: on hold, listening to more audio infomercials ::.
"Ma'am, thank you for holding. May I interest you in Best of the Boy Bands?"
" you......."
"Very well, then, is there anything else I can assist you with?"
"Yes... do you have a confirmation number for me?"
"Why, of course... blah blah blah."
"Is there anything else?"
"No. I think I have everything."
"Very well, then Ma'am. Please expect your order to arrive in 5-7 weeks. Your account will be billed $149.97 upon shipment. Thank you for shopping with us."

Still in a bit of a sleep stupor... I'm really too tired to protest or react quickly to the transaction... I finally decide to try and go to sleep...

The next morning, not sure if it was a dream... I don't give the purchase a second thought... In fact, in a matter of a day... the whole incident has been forgotten... 5-7 weeks delivery, my friends is no stinkin' accident...

So, Michael and I were up late a few weekends ago... and I believe we actually did order 70's Music Explosion... Again... at 4 o'clock in the morning... the song list looks fantastic... take a gander and let me know what you think... In any event, I'll let you know what I think of the collection in what I guess will be 3-5 weeks...

Last night I watched three infomercials back to back--- Classic Soft Rock hosted by yes... you guessed it Air Supply... and the other one was Lifetime of Romance and for the life of me... I can not remember who hosted this one... but of course the best one was hosted by Peter Noone (of Herman's Hermits) and another cute 20 something hostess... The Classic 60's Collection. Now... I don't believe I purchased anything.. but I guess we'll find out in 5-7 weeks.
So... the moral to the story? I dunno... I'm sure I'll get insomnia again and no doubt I will be suckered into another mass purchase...

Besides... the Hee Haw Collection looks fantastic!

h/t to That1Guy from Drunken Wisdom for the inspiration for today's post.

As Seen on TV

Blogs and Links to Check Out This Week:

Neddy's Palaver - She has some wonderful stuff on her blog... I equate her blog to a Norman Rockwell painting - Total Americana - Feel good stuff about being an American. I need to visit her more often. I've been away for too long.

Blogging the Revolution - While visiting Neddy, this link caught my attention. I suspect this blog also belongs to Neddy. Either way... To understand the present, we must understand the past.

Point Five - I like this guy. He has one of the best looking blogs around. He also started Victory Wing..(below). He did an expose on Michelle Malkin... check him out...

I have also joined a couple of blogrolls that can be found on the sidebar.
Reject the UN
Victory Wing


In trying to keep up with all the blogs I enjoy reading, I have removed some from "Places I Go" that have been inactive. If I removed you inadvertantly, let me know and I'll put you back on my blogroll.

Have a great week everyone!


Lone Ranger said...

I can testify that the Magic Bullet works better than the Ultimate Chopper.

I have Dick Clark's Rock, Roll and Remember, that thing that charges normal batteries and the Time/Live country and folk song collections.

I once bought a fireplace from QVC. I got tired of ordering cans of alcohol gel fuel, so I bought an electric fireplace insert with realistic flickering flames.

I have a Dremel-like tool that I've never used. And countless other things. All because I work the night shift

Cathy said...

I knew we were kindred spirits, Kimosabe. Too Funny!!!

Cathy said...

I finally remembered...If anyone is keeping track... Lifetime of Romance is hosted by Bobby Vinton...."she wore blue velvet..."