Sunday, December 03, 2006

I Teke Cab!

Sunny - Hi 64 Lo 44 for Baghdad, Iraq
Partly sunny - Hi 40 Lo 20 for Northern KY, USA

Song of the week: Boondocks,
Little Big Town


Is it just me or does Little Big Town remind you of the country version of ABBA? Just sayin'...

So, I have not had my heart in writing for awhile... hence the lateness of the hour in having it posted. But, I have coffee in hand and will see where I go.

Friday, my mother had elective surgery which required me to stay at her house (mine for 8 years). For perspective, this is the second time I have stayed overnight at my Mother's in 20 years... I love my mother, but in one of my very first posts I discuss the difficulty my mother and I have relating to each other. She had a difficult life and I wrote about her early in my blogging life. It is one of my most heartfelt posts and I cried when I wrote it... I cried when I just reread it. In any event, I wish I could report that since that post, we have worked towards deepening our relationship, but that isn't a reality- and some things just can't be changed. Mom is extremely stubborn and depends on no one. The last time I spent the night at her house, it was also for observation after out patient surgery. I found out about the surgery like this....

My phone at work rings & I answer: "This is Cathy."

Caller: "Yes, Mrs. S. Your mother is about to go into surgery and she has stated that she is going to take a cab home afterwards. Mrs. S. this is simply not possible, she must be released into the care of someone for 24 hours.............."

"Surgery- surgery for what? Is she going to be all right?"

"Ma'am how soon can you be here?"

"Christ, where are you? Which hospital?"


"I'll be there."

After she came to in recovery, she was ticked off that the nurse contacted me. She spat, "I teke cab!!"

I basically turned into a 10 year old, spewed back loudly--- "What the hell?? Why didn't you call me? You think I can just come and go at work??? I'm not self employed MOM!! Why the hell didn't you call me a head of time so I could make arrangements?"

"I tode yu, I teke cab! Dees people stupoo and don't know nut-ting. I can teke cab and teke care of my-SELF!"

That's my mom....

Friday was really no different, Except this time, she told me ahead of time...

About a month ago: "Cat-tee, you teke me to hos-pe-tall on De-cem-beh sec-ond! OK bye-bye."

I call her back: "You wanna tell me about this? Surgery for what? What time? Who is your doctor? Will you be in the hospital for an extended time or is it out patient?"

Mom proceeds to fill in SOME of the blanks... out patient, nothing serious... I will not need to stay overnight.... (wrong).

In my 41 years of existence, I can count on one hand the number of times she has made me feel needed... I just told you about 2 of them.

I realize that this is a self preservation mechanism Mom has built in to keep from getting hurt... but let me tell you... it sucks.

I was also thinking about my sister in law. I remember when I first met her in California. I thought she was pretty insecure, but put up a big facade so that no one knew. One thing that I remember was her giving her older brother (the future Scootertrash hubby) advice on the future. Michael and Sus had a pretty warped childhood too... but not my story to tell... A couple of year's later, Susie moved to Cincinnati. It was then that I got to know her... and even though she never said anything about it... she wanted to be a Mom. More than anything else, she wanted the opportunity to be a mother... the girl had some serious opinions on the matter... Let me tell you... her opinions were those that were grounded in years of thoughtful reflection of her own life experience. Susie met the man of her dreams and shortly after, Sus became pregnant... well, it was the role she had been waiting for her entire life.

I remember going Christmas shopping with her... the smallest of details... We were looking at Christmas tree skirts, "When Aimee gets older I want her to be able to look back and remember how the house was decorated, what the tree skirt looked like..." I realized then, some women dream about their wedding from the time they are little girls, others dream about the children they are going to have.... Susie thought about her daughter long before she was ever born... She wanted to ensure lovely warm memories filled with color and wonderful smells permeating their home.

Aimee is so much like her mother, it's quite astounding. Aimee does show signs of insecurity, but she's 13... The difference is, her mother and father are giving Aimee all the tools to overcome her insecurities... Susie is giving her daughter all the resources possible to be happy, to be successful, and most importantly a person of good strong character and integrity. It's all in the details... every situation has a lesson... Sus leads and loves by example. Sus is the kind of self assured person she wants her daughter to become...

I believe becoming a mother is part of the cycle of life- I believe all women feel this need (whether they admit it or not) to become a mother at one point in their lives. Some choose to ignore those feelings, some women are better at being mothers than others. Some take lessons from their own childhood and improve upon the mold. Some rear children the exact same way they were reared...Others kind of go on autopilot and just wing it. There are good mothers and bad mothers... there are women that should never be mothers... of course there are never guarantees on the kind of person the child will grow into...

Blogs and Links to Check Out:

I haven't been looking around to much of late. I'll get back on track soon.

Have a great week everyone!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, great post. I have some real issues with the lack of involvement of my Mother in my life too. Married and five kids and she's yet to come visit me in the one city I figured she'd be unable to resist visiting- Las Vegas. *shrug*

Some things are meant to be so that we can learn particular lessons that cannot be learned any other way.

My best to you, and your Mom.